The fine art of saying no

When I recently resigned my position as President of one of the organizations I belong to, my immediate thought was, “well, what other organization interests me and should I join it? Several came to mind but in discussing it with hubby and some friends, they all asked why I thought it was necessary to join another organization. 

That started me thinking and figuring out why it is that I feel I couldn’t just belong to and work with one organization. As I’ve always said that retirement is the best life stage as one can choose to do or not to do anything and everything, I figured if one thing was fun, two would be better. 

In a more serious vein, I know that the predominant theme of my adult life has been a commitment to give back to whatever community has welcomed me and Grenada is no different. Since I have the time and energy, why not do as much as I can. A noble sentiment but as hubby pointed out, I also maintain a household, do gardening, keep in touch with my grandchildren, my friends, make my own juices, condiments, bake bread and maintain an active social life.  Retirement suddenly becomes a whirlwind of too many activities.

Belonging to an organization is one thing; finding myself volunteering  to do a lot of things, that no one else seems to come forward to do, is something else. Before long, I’m busier than I was while working for a living. It follows that with a certain age comes less energy, so I often complain of being tired. 

Another area where I’ve been too accommodating is in making arrangements for everyone for our various social outings. “Why can’t they all make their own arrangements?” asks hubby. So now, when one of them asks if I had called, texted, etc. I just say “no, I thought you had already done it.” Hubby again, “why don’t you just say no more often?” good point, why? “Why can’t you sometimes buy ready-made stuff?” Another good question. 

So, I’ve had to sit back and re assess what I feel I need to commit to. Reluctantly, I’ve begun to say “no” while trying to not feel guilty. I wish I could say, the new approach is successful, but it goes in fits and starts. Still, I’ve embarked on a new way of living. No is not a dirty word anymore, just one that’s still a bit hard to say.