Grandparenting adult grandchildren

One day you turn around and realise that the grandchildren you have nurtured, protected, spoiled, mentored are full fledged adults. The subtle shifts that brought this about have gone barely noticed. They graduated kindergarten, then grammar school, high school and finally college. 

They have developed along their own paths and have interests, passions, experiences which makes each one unique. Intellectually you know this, as you've remained close to them but emotionally, WOW, how do you now interact with them, argue or support their viewpoint, still try to guide them but let them loose to make their own experiences, good or bad?

An amusing case in point: this past summer we gave three graduating granddaughters the gift of joining us in one of our four European destinations. We said if they could manage to get themselves there, we would pick up all the housing and much of the other incidental expenses. They all chose to meet us in Greece. 

Two of them arrived ahead of us and by the time we arrived, had all the necessary info down pat. Keys to the apartment, check; grocery store, check; nearest restaurant, check; work hot water heater in bathroom, check; nearest bus stop, check. All we had to do was unpack our suitcases. They figured out which train to take to the airport to pick up their cousin, we just followed. One became the designated researcher tasked with figuring out what to see of the myriad activities to choose from, the other became the navigator, smart phone in hand, we never got lost. At some point, it occurred to us that now we were the ones being taken care of. A novel, but lovely feeling.

A 25-year-old grandson spent an hour talking with me about, life, love, family dynamics, among many other topics covered. He readily accepted advice where he felt it warranted, let me know what would or wouldn't work for him. This was such an uplifting experience. The level of love and trust in me of this terrific young man generates an overwhelming feeling of gratitude.

I try to make it a point to talk to as many of my grandchildren as possible on a regular basis. Sometimes just to chat, sometimes to  listen to a dilemma; sometimes to share their triumphs or tragedies. Having said all that, you might find that there are grandchildren to whom you are not close. This is sad but, in many ways, inevitable, as family circumstances, distances and personalities all play a role in how you interact with them. Accept this without beating yourself up over it. Just make sure that you let them know you love them, even if you're not close to them. Treasure and nurture the closeness with the others.
​Above all else, always make the effort to stay connected. They now have busy lives and it's up to you to reach out regularly.